work is just fabulous!

As my bosses are at a studio test for our pilot, I am sitting back at my desk with a bag of raisinets, a diet coke, and the Sex And The City Season 4 DVD.

Oh, how I love Aidan.

People that went through my roommate situation with me are constantly asking how I like my new roommate. First thing that comes to mind is that I am SO happy she is living here and not the old one or another crazy. She is sweet and considerate, and very thoughtful. However, there is this ONE thing that she does that annoys me just a bit.

It's when we are talking (or not talking, maybe just watching some TV). I want to say she's argumentative, but she's not. She's just very opinionative. And if no one stops her, I am convinced that she will continue to talk about how she feels about a particular subject until somone turns the lights out. A big thing with her is the way she comments on people's attire, especially in TV. My office cast Miss Match, the short-lived NBC show starring Alicia Silverstone. The other day we were watching the tapes of the last episodes that never aired, and she got very hung up on the wardrobe. Now, I can easilt agree that it wasn't the prettiest I had seen, but she literally continued to talk about it for a good ten minutes - and not just in passing. She became VERY loud and animated, and said wourds like "bugger, wanker, etc" (she's British). Tonight, as we were watching The Apprentice, I had to keep on pausing the TV so I wouldn't miss what Donald was saying because of her CONSTANT running commentary. I'm telling you, it was starting to kill me. Maybe she just has a lot of energy.

Oh well. At least she's sane.

By the way, tonight as I was fast-forwarding through "North Shore" (BTW I can't really watch the show - I was just looking for Shannen Doherty to see if her real life mutual hatred with Brooke Burns would come through on screen), I realized that almost all of their hotel outdoor scenes are filmed at Turtle Bay Resort, on the North Shore of Oahu, which also happens to be where my office stayed when we went to Hawaii for the filming of Rocky Point just earlier this month. All the pool scenes are filmed there. I know - random, but definitely exciting.

Well, it's late, I've had an insanely long day and tomorrow and Friday are only going to be crazier. Good night!

Sometimes I look at my job and I have to laugh. Not because it's necessarilly funny, but because I never thought that my day to day job would consist of meeting and reading actors and actresses that I have grown up with and love.

I've already talked numerous times about my obsession with TV, so you should all know why this is all very exciting for me.

Right now we are working on a comedy pilot. Here are some of the people that we have had in in the last couple of days:

Tiffani Thiessen (90210)
Rebecca Gayheart (once agin, 90210)
Tom Cavanaugh (of Ed fame)
Marla Sokoloff (The Practice)
Anthony Rapp (the annoying friend in Adventures in Babysitting & the original Mark in Rent)
Fred Savage (I shouldn't even have to say it, but "Wonder Years")
Melissa Joan Hart (Sabrina the Teenage Witch)

The list could go on and on... It's absolutely incredible. Never, in my wildest dreams did I think I would be in a position where the people I grew up loving and watching EVERY DAY would be kissing MY butt to get a job!

Oh, I love Hollywood!

Tonight, I had a really big fight with Chris. Who knows where it came from, it just came on. But one second I was sitting on his bed, and two minutes later I was in my car ready to drive home. There were no words spoken at the moment...just small events that led to it. And I sat in front of his house for a half hour hoping he would call me and tell me to come back.

And he didn't. When he finally called me, I was so hurt and angry I told him that I needed a break. Out of nowhere, just like that. And he told me to come up, but at that point, I had already left and right before I hung up, I said that I was sorry, and that I was already gone.

And I cried the whole way home, listening to sad songs, trying to get my mind off it. I couldn't. I wanted a cigarette, but I didnt let myself. I wanted to talk to someone, but couldn't pick up the phone. I felt sick. Coming into my apartment, I just dropped my bag and broke down. I hadn't done that in a long time. I was soo sad and didnt know how to deal with the emotions. I could hardly breathe.

I started to imagine my life without Chris. It's the small things that would be the hardest...not talking to him right before I turn out the lights at night, not seeing the first IM of the day saying "morning babe", not having a movie partner, a coffee partner, a lover, a best friend. It sounds cheesy, I know, but I couldn't help it...all of these feelings that you hear about in movies or read about in books came to me like a ton of bricks.

It scared me to be honest. In the "ohmigod, what will happen if this happens for REAL?" I never wanted to be dependant on a boyfriend. I never wanted to feel wierd being alone. And look what happened to me.

I turned on my computer, popped in the Garden State Soundtrack (which is by the way not only the BEST movie but also the BEST soundtrack), and was just about to start blogging when I heard a "pop" sound. It was an iChat from him. He typed "you never said I couldn't IM you".

And in one second, my heart started beating normally again. And my head started to clear. And I realized that maybe it was never that I was too dependant on him, but that I am in love with him. Plainly put. And I guess the feelings that I had tonight only make me human.

This morning I had to stop by mom and stepdads house to sign a document. Once there, I was given some really potentially horrible news.

Let me go back and start by saying that I have many stepbrothers and stepsisters and half sisters and one full sister. This is because my family is from LA and we are the typical one with multiple divorces, remarries, etc...

One of my stepbrothers (we'll call him devil) has always been bad. Every since he was a kid, he was a trouble maker and problem causer. Why? My first guess is that it's because he comes from a VERY rich family on his mom's side, and from the second he was born, he had enough money to get whatever he wanted. And he did...so he's spoiled like no other. He was always loud and very hyper (my guess is ADD) growing up, so his mom did what any rich Beverly Hills mom does - sent him to numerous therapists who prescribed him all the prescription pills he could have. And that only made him crazier. When he was fifteen, he took his grandfather's mercedes for a joyride around town, hit three parked cars and kept on driving. Got his license suspended. When he was 16, he was put in a wilderness survival school in the middle of nowhere so that he could take care of his problems. Everyone thought he was better until he got caught with 2 ounces of marijuana. He's since totalled THREE cars, gotten kicked out of his apartment, etc... The problem is - he NEVER changes.

My stepdad tries to keep him under control, but with no luck. Currently, the devil is living in a guest bedroom at my moms, which sucks for them, because he goes out every night, comes home at three, and sleeps in all day. Who needs that?

So my stepdad recently told him he needed to find a new place to live. One problem: his only reference from his last apartment will laugh in anyone's face that tries to see if he would be a good tenant.

SO what is their solution? Since my parents are on friendly terms with my apt. manager, they are going to try to get him to move into MY building!!!

Did you hear me? THE DEVIL in my building? I don't think so! But according to them, it really has NOTHING to do with me.

Please advise!

Celebrity gossip: So what is this that I hear about Britney faking her marriage? When I heard that she even got married, I was dumbfounded. I mean, what is this girl in such a rush for? But if this was just a "put-on" wedding like the speculation says, than I am sorry, but the girl is a GENIUS! Right before her new single comes out, too! She is a publicity whore and, like I have thought from the beginning, will be around as long as Madonna has in the public eye. Because as much as we hate her, and are grossed out by what she wears, her fiance (or husband), or her bare feet in public bathrooms, I truly feel that people just cannot get enough of her. Put her on the cover of US weekly, and the issue will sell out.

TV update: In other entertainment news, last night was a TV night like no other with both Big Brother and Amazing Race finales. I wont go too into it, but if I see Holly and Jase ever again, it will be too much. I have ever seen two more annoying egotistical ugly people together (because no matter what anyone says, mean annoying people will ALWAYS be ugly in my eyes). And on Amazing Race, the fact that Chip and Kim won made me SO happy...I even shed some tears for my fave parents on TV. And Colin and Christie NEED to have their own reality show.

Music-wise: Green Day's new album, "American Idiot" kicks serious ass. I'm not even a big fan of them or alternative / rock, but I love it.

Oh, and I finally got Chris to agree to go to Garden State with me...maybe tonight? If so, can't wait!

Last night I went to a surprise birthday dinner at an Italian restaurant called Maggiano's. It was to celebrate my boyfriend's roomate's girlfriend's birthday. Confused yet? Well, to start off, I don't like the girl all that much...we have many different belieefs and lifeastyles, and many times I feel like she's very judgmental of me. Example? She belongs to a church youth group and I'm Jewish. Shouldn't be a problem, right? Well, anytime I say something about Jews, she always gives me the "well, what does that have to do with it?" Another example? At a friend's Christmas party last Decempber, we were all having some drinks. SHe walked up to me of all people (while her boyfriend was practically passed out) to tell me that she thought I was drinking too much! The next weekend, we all went out and she drank so much that she was throwing up in the cab. So maybe I was drinking too much, but DEFINITELY not more than the other people there and definitely not more than her the following weekend!!!

Back to the story. So at Maggiano's, when you have a large party, you eat family atyle. That is where you pick two choices from each of the five courses, and they feed the table ALL YOU CAN EAT of that food. There were twenty of us (if you want to even try to imagine how much food that was!!) The surprise was supposed to happen at 8:15, so we all got there at 8. What time did the surprise ACTUALLY happen? 9pm. What time did we start eating? 9:45. What were we eating? CHeese, pasta, meat, oil,cheese, heavy sauces, butter, cheese, etc... Oh, and a lot of wine. The dessert came at 11:00. It was a chocolate cake the size of my apartment.

Why am I telling you all of this? Because I just want to let you know that THAT is the reason that I feel like an elephant today.

Thank you for listening :)

When I was in elementary school and high school, I always used to have crushes on the boys who played sports. Don't get me wrong, I also liked boys that excelled in academics and boys who were incredible actors, but nothing beat the crushes I felt for the athletes. There was always something about them getting that homerun or touchdown or goal that really made my heart pitter patter.

Well, those days aren't over I guess. That's because I have never been as in love with Chris than I was this morning as I watched him participate (and complete!!!) his first triathalon.

Chris has been training for a couple of months now. He didn't know anyone else who was going to compete as well, but he still wanted to challenge himself. He set awesome goals and really has been working hard.

Last night, as he was eating a carb-filled dinner, Chris got really nervous. I tried to calm him, saying that it was normal because it was his first and that he was going to kick some serious booty, but in reality, it just made me more nervous. And you read about me and my dreams - last night was ALL about his triathalon.

This morning we woke up at 4:45AM and made it to Malibu by 6 AM. There were so many people there, of all ages and sizes, but for some reason, all of the hard-core athletes were stationed right next to Chris. Oh man, if I could only explain to you his face when we first got there as he was absorbing it all - he was so nervous! I had to be the calm one and let him know that he was going to be alright.

The first leg was the 1/2 mile swim in the 69 degrees Pacific Ocean. His dad and I stood there at the point where the swimmers come out of the water, and there came Chris, right in the middle of David Duhovny and one of the guys from Survivor. This is LA, what can I tell ya? Well, he came out and ran to the transitioning station, and he had such a strong look on his face and right away, all my nerves went away. I was already proud of him. But he was ready for more.

Cut to approx two hours later, an 18 mile bike race and a 4 mile run, and there came Chris around the finish line (and just about passed out). I had never felt so in love and proud of someone. He put his mind to something, and really did it.

It was simply awesome.

I had a really bad night of sleep. With all of these horrible hurricanes and natural disasters occuring all over the US, it has become the topic of conversation at lunch at our office.

Yesterday, everyone (half-jokingly) decided that this is now our version of "The Day After Tomorrow" or "Armageddon". I work amongst very creative people (writers, producers, etc.), so I can see how they were taking it farther than they should have.

But all of that talk got me thinking last night if there really was some "higher plan" really in the works. And believe me, like I have stated before, I am not very religious, and most of the time, have NO idea what I am talking about. But I recently read an article in Newsweek stating that if you think of a very simple thing (for example, how can I fit that piece of furniture into the living room) before you fall asleep, you'll wake up with the solution.

Well before I fell asleep last night, I was wondering about why all of these horrible hurricanes and natural disasters are happening.

I didn't wake up with the solution. Instead I woke up extremely tired because I had a very realistic dream that there was an earthquake...whih of course prompted me to wake up and immediately map out my plan of action if in fact there was going to be an earthquake. Neurotic, much?

SO tonight, before I go to bed, I might just have to think about cotton candy, chocolate, The Amazing Race, and Adam Brody. Hmmm.... can't wait for my dream about that!

Well it is Jewish New Years! Rosh Hashanah, actually. So tonight, I am having dinner at my mothers to celebrate the new year sweetly by dipping apples into honey. It's a tradition.

The only interesting thing about tonight is that I'm bringing my boyfriend, Chris. My family knows him and likes him so I'm not worried that it will be awkward. The only thing is that he isn't Jewish. He's actually very nervous that he wont fit in because everyone else that will be there tonight is. I'm not too worried though. My family is Jewish, but not very religious. We dont go to temple or anything, but we do like to use the holidays as a chance to get together as a family and eat really good food. Speaking of food, I hope my mom cooks. And a sidenote on that, I really need to start learning how to cook like my mom. When she's too old or (god forbid) wont be around, someone is going to have to follow in her footsteps with the incredible Jewish cooking.

This morning I woke up feeling very worried about my evergrowing passion for television. I mean, at this point, its complete obsession. These are the reasons that I know this:

** I LIVE for Big Brother the way I've never lived for a reality show. Why is that? Maybe it's because it's on for approx. 18 hrs a week so I actually think I AM living in the BB house.

**Almost everyday I have a reality star spotting, whether it's the waitress at the restaurant that I'm eating at, or the person behind me in line at the music store. The crazy part about it is that I ALWAYS recognize them. Whether they were on that first season of Fear Factor or on the third season of the Bachelor.

**I spent a good portion of my day staring at the fall TV line-up to map out my plan for the evening.

**In regular conversations with my friends, I use stories that occured on my fave episodes of shows to show them that they really aren't the only ones going through that horrible breakup.

But realistically, this IS my homework for my job. I need to know the actors out there, so that when I am watching North Shore, and see a really beautiful actress who also is talented, I will immediately know her name and be able to have her come in to audition for us.

See, there IS a method to my madness :)

I had a really nice weekend surprisingly, as I was sure that it would be crazier than anything. On Friday after work I was feeling so exhausted but hungry, so Chris took me out to the greatest restaurant called Fabiolus where we drank a bottle of Italian red wine over pasta and in a lovely European setting. Aaahhh. He really knows how to relax me, that boy!

Saturday morning I woke up, worked out (first time in SO long), and then took my car to the dealer to get my very overdue car serviced. I had a few hours to kill between that and my 4:00 hair appt. so my sister came over and we laid out at my rooftop pool in the Hollywood Hills. Now, I have to admit that I have the ABSOLUTE nicest view of LA from my roof. I don't take advantage of it nearly enough. Not only is the view off the roof incredible, but on any given weekend, the view on the roof is to: the people (the girls and guys) are the best looking people in LA. Some are actors and dancers, but most are young 20-30 something people with full-time careers: there are lawyers and financial people and people in entertainment like myself. But more than that, I just came to learn its like Melrose Place: they ALL know eachother b/c that is what they do every weekend when the weather is good (which it is here almost 50 weeks a year). This, my friends, gets me very excited! I will be at that pool more often!

Saturday afternoon, my new roommate moved in. L is the sweetest girl so far, she is so caring and really tries to make an effort to be social unlike my past roommate. On Sat. night, Chris, my sister and I bbq'd on my roof and she came bearing Bud Light and Haagen Dazs! How much more could a girl ask for!

Yesterday a good friend (B) of mine and my sisters came over to visit. B and her older sister have been our friends since I was 11. They lived across the street from us at the time and we have been close since then. One of them now lives in Austin, and B was living there too until she moved to Seattle a year ago after their father passed away suddenly. B went through a really hard time and got into some serious drugs. It was scary and we were all worried about her. But she has gotten better since then and is clean as of right now, and is looking around the LA or San Diego areas for a job. I was so relieved to see her look and feel better - it's so sad when someone so close to you goes on the wrong path and you can't do anything to bring them back unless they want to.

So that was my weekend... I hope all of yours were good too!

On days like today, I truly hate being an assistant.

So I know that in many industries, particularly the entertainment industry like I am in, you have to start at the bottom. In my case, that meant doing a summer internship and after some months, getting moved up to a second assistant, where I was litterally getting paid candy money. But I loved the job: being on set, in a production office, around the actors, producers, writers, etc. So I did it.

And that was over a year ago. I am now a first assistant, and definitely getting paid better - standard assistant pay in this industry, but... some days I just wake up and think, "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!"

I mean, I am a smart, creative, hard worker... when am I going to get my own gig? When are people going to start looking up to me instead of down?

When am I going to get my own assistant??

Well, as for now, I gotta run and get my boss coffee...

Don't you just love showbiz?

I spent the morning portion of today at a place called ARC... that is, the Alternative Reconciliation Centers. For those of you who are unaware of what that is, it is basically a mediation center. See, my family is currently involved in a very messy situation with my deceased grandfather's trust. Basically, it's currently managed by who we tink is the wrong person and my side of the family wants that to change. Unfortunately, the person who is currently managing the trust is also part of our family...but only through marriage.

Legal problems are the worst... but legal problems in your own family regarding money of all things are even worse than that.

See, I go on vacation, come back and all I want is a vacation. I have been nothing but exhausted since I've gotten back, I can't sleep all that well at night, and to top it all off, now I have a cold!!

I wish this weekend would remedy all of that, but unfortunately, my weekend is going to be crazier than my week.

Oh man, how I miss being a student so I could be on summer break!

Hello everyone!

So, Hawaii was amazing! I would love to talk more about it, but as it usually goes with vacations, when you get back, things are crazier than ever. Here are the basics though:

-While there, I ate, laid out, swam, drank, slept, ate, and ate more.
-Red eye flights are the worst possible things ever.
-I got completely sick coming off the flight yesterday morning and I am still in my own peersonal Dana-land.

The phone doesn't stop ringing and my mind is a jumble... please bear with me as I cope through these next couple of days (and keep in mind, I just have my computer time at work b/c my lovely DSL has been turned off at home).

Isn't life charming???

So, because our office is taking a day off tomorrow to go to Hawaii, we are insanely busy (not to mention we started casting a new pilot today!!!). That's why I can't really post anything new right now.

But I am going to Hawaii tomorrow... any advice from you all? Traveling on Labor Dayy weekend won't be that fun I know. But hey, i guess anything's better than being in Florida right now.

(By the way, I promise I'm not as crazy as I made myself sound yesterday. Well, actually, I am crazy, just not THAT crazy. But I thank you for all your comments... I was worried that after reading that, I would lose all of you guys as readers. Looks like it was just the opposite.)

:)

OK, so I am a hypochondriac. Not only a hypochondriac, but a paranoid, anxious person too. Here are some recent examples of my absolute craziness:

-Yesterday, "Aunt Flow" didn't visit me. Because I am on the pill, I am very clockwork when it comes to her monthly visits. As yesterday evening approached, I found myself thinking of ways how to tell my boyfriend that he is going to be a father. I also checked out this website to prepare myself.

-I find myself starting to be extremely aware of dangers that I'm in in every possible situation. After all the craziness that is in the world, I tend to look twice at the diners in the restaurants that I go to, the people walking on the sidewalk next to me, or even some of my co-workers. Yes, because if terrorism is going to hit LA, it's definitely coming to our casting office.

-I think twice before going to CNN.com in the mornings. That is because I am a freak who can't hear or see anything of bad news, because I automatically think it's going to happen to me.

-I bring extra reading material with me in my purse, just so that if I am stuck in an elevator, I'll have something to do.

-I find myself checking my pulse to see if my heart is still beating every so often.

-I am already preparing my anti-anxiety pills for my flights to and from Hawaii this weekend.

-Only seeing the promos for the new show "Lost" makes me lose sleep.

I know, I know...I'm a little crazy.
But as of this morning, at least I'm not going to be a mom!